IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today's people's life expectancy is much higher than before. Some believe that older people should continue to work. What extent do yo agree or disagree .

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It is
arguing
Wrong verb form
argued
show examples
 that nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 live longer than past.
Therefore
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
 should carry on working
instead
Linking Words
 of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with the statement that older
people
Use synonyms
 should continue to
work
Use synonyms
 while
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have a job.
First
Linking Words
 of all, older
people
Use synonyms
 can handle any kind of
work
Use synonyms
 in their job as they have a huge
experience
Use synonyms
, but even if they are able to
work
Use synonyms
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 should take their place because that could be the cause of unemployment and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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 homeless habitats list.
For example
Linking Words
, in our modern
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 we have a range of
people
Use synonyms
 who have no job because they don't have an experiment.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
instead
Linking Words
 of working, older
people
Use synonyms
 could help young
workers
Use synonyms
 and teach them what they have learned from their
experience
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most firms and corporations don't want to retire their old
workers
Use synonyms
 as
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
 have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
authority and respect
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their staff.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 is not the solution when
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 firms head to problems.
For example
Linking Words
, if
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
 firms have any problem with urgent planning problems they can not do that right on time as their staff is not young enough to deal with it.
Also
Linking Words
, if there are not any young
workers
Use synonyms
, after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years finding
workers
Use synonyms
 with
experience
Use synonyms
 can be the real issue. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that older
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 as they have an
experience
Use synonyms
 and authority in their working place.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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