IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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At the present , the proportion of
crime
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 increasing day by day and the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to give longer
prison
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 sentences but
in
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on
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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 believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
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 ,
i
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I
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 think both views are good for society and people . But in my opinion ,
i
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I
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 think
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should give some reasonable sentences for crimes according to their
crime
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 level. The only
reasonable
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reason
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 for my
view point
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viewpoint
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 is those who make small mistakes should receive a suitable
sentence
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 compared to receiving a long
prison
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sentence
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 . Why ? A school of thought holds that the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to give longer
prison
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 sentences , it may be correct , but it means that all criminals who commit small or big mistakes get the same
long term
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long-term
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sentence
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 ,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is rather unfair .
For example
Linking Words
 , someone
commit
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commits
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small
Add an article
a small
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 mistake and they have to receive a longer
prison
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sentence
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 and they have to stay in
prison
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 for the rest of
their
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their their
his their
her their
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 life while they ever make something . In conclusion ,
i
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I
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 will not say much more ,
i
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I
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 still stand up for my
view point
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viewpoint
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 and
i
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I
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 think that
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 and
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should have another look at crimes because not all criminals are to blame and there are many aspects that we cannot know about them .
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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