Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At the present , the proportion of
crime
increasing day by day and the best way to reduce
crime
is to give longer
prison
sentences but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
believe that there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think both views are good for society and people . But in my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should give some reasonable sentences for crimes according to their
crime
level. The only
reasonable
Replace the word
reason
show examples
for my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
is those who make small mistakes should receive a suitable
sentence
compared to receiving a long
prison
sentence
. Why ? A school of thought holds that the best way to reduce
crime
is to give longer
prison
sentences , it may be correct , but it means that all criminals who commit small or big mistakes get the same
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
sentence
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is rather unfair .
For example
, someone
commit
Change the verb form
commits
show examples
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
mistake and they have to receive a longer
prison
sentence
and they have to stay in
prison
for the rest of
their
Correct pronoun usage
their their
his their
her their
show examples
life while they ever make something . In conclusion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will not say much more ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
still stand up for my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
and
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should have another look at crimes because not all criminals are to blame and there are many aspects that we cannot know about them .
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: