Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #phone #conversations #places

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern life, many

people

believe that

telephone

Correct article usage

the telephone

show examples

dominate

Change the verb form

dominates

show examples

our life. Some

people

think that the use of

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

a mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

in public should be banned, but

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

disagree. In

this

essay, I will explore both points and explain why mobile

phones

arenʼt limiting. On the one hand, talking on the

phone

in public places attracts a lot of

peopleʼs

Correct your spelling

people's

attention.

This

is mainly due to the volume of the

phone

ringingand

Correct your spelling

ringing and

ringing

the volume of the disturbers. Many

people

may not like

this

For example

, if

people

are in some mosques or churches. Suddenly

someoneʼs

Correct your spelling

someone's

phone

rings loudly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Correct word choice

which

show examples

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

everyoneʼs

Correct your spelling

everyone's

attention and

breaks

Wrong verb form

breaking

show examples

their concentration.

Therefore

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

are requested to be turned off when visiting mosques or churches.

On the other hand

,there are many

people

who donʼt agree with the idea of banning mobile

phones

in any situation. Often referred to as the use of mobile

phones

for important calls.

Besides

, today

mnay

Correct your spelling

many

people

live

for

Correct your spelling

far

show examples

from their families and they need a

phone

to talk to them. Often

people

cannot refuse calls from family and have to answer them. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the calls from them may have been to tell some news. For

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

,if their family members went to a competition and won there, they will

definitly

Correct your spelling

definitely

about tell it by calling.

Therefore

, answering calls to mobile

phones

is important. In a nutshell, some

people

believe that they do important work on a mobile

phone

. Some

people

are completely against

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

our life easier and we cannot ignore it. I donʼt agree with banning mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

. I propose

to teach

Change the verb form

teaching

show examples

people

how to use a mobile

phone

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Disrupt
Infringe
Social rudeness
Public transport
Necessity
Convenience
Emergencies
Personal freedom
Designated areas
Compromise
Context
Advocating

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Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments .Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are they any alternatives?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? topic in blood?