IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others, however, believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #traditions #society #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether the current generation should pursue a traditional lifestyle or a modern one remains a controversial topic. From my perspective, both arguments are reasonable to a certain extent, but I am still in favour of the latter viewpoint. I will explain my preference in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the advocates of the
first
Linking Words
 standpoint have rational grounds.
First
Linking Words
, following traditional values will help young people develop in the right direction. To be specific, they are too young to be aware of the serious consequences which may be caused by their actions. While the traditions of their community are experiences which have been accumulated over hundreds of years.
Second
Linking Words
, it is necessary to preserve national customs by maintaining traditions, because
loss
Add an article
the loss
show examples
 of cultural identities may cause some mistakes in the mindset of young people. Worse still, gradually, the current generation will forget their origins.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the above arguments are insufficient to overshadow the merits of the
second
Linking Words
 standpoint. At its simplest, several traditional values are no longer because of the development of society.
For example
Linking Words
, previous generations usually predicted weather based on natural phenomena, but now humans utilize state-of-the-art technologies to give exact forecasts. On top of that, growing free and individually will assist young citizens in improving their critical thinking ability. Back
then
Linking Words
, children were limited in creativity since traditional codes of conduct. Nowadays, in Europe countries, educators are researching and applying liberal education in reality, which enables students to create and confidently show their opinions. In short,
although
Linking Words
 it is safe for the young to aim for traditions.
However
Linking Words
, in modern life, they need to be free to behave as individuals.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: