IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that too much attention and many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
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Some arguments are held about whether
wildlife
Use synonyms
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
 a great deal of attention and
resources
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
the preserve
show examples
preserve
Replace the word
preservation
show examples
. I disagree with those who think that the
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
 have too much surveillance and
resources
Use synonyms
 in
preserve
Replace the word
preservation
show examples
 because in spite of
Linking Words
such
Add an article
the such
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
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 of
protection
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 they are still in danger of being hurt by
humans
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 since they play a key role in
Add an article
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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 and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, they even require much more
protection
Use synonyms
 which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 discuss in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 as
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
show examples
:
In addition
Linking Words
 to
humans
Use synonyms
,
wildlife
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as accommodation,
not
Correct word choice
and not
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 being haunted by
humans
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 preserves and facilities are provided for them partially, a large number of
wildlife
Use synonyms
 are on the verge of extinction or death due to human activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, annually a myriad of them are killed by
humans
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 for their meat or skin. It means enough
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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 of taking care and providing
resources
Use synonyms
 for
animals
Use synonyms
 or
birds
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not adopted.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is important to protect
wildlife
Use synonyms
 even
a
Correct word choice
though a
show examples
great number of
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 and care have to be taken. What
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean to say is that
animals
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 are effective for
economy
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the economy
an economy
show examples
 in terms of either providing products like eggs,
milk
Correct word choice
and milk
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, or eating weeds. Many Farmers make a living
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 selling these yields. In the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 these sales compound the income of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of burning weeds, their crops are
prune
Wrong verb form
pruned
show examples
 by animal grazing which is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, too much attention and too many
resources
Use synonyms
 should be dedicated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
protection
Add an article
the protection
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
. Overall, while some people claim that too much care and facilities are given
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that even with
such
Linking Words
 amount of preserves many
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 killed or dead and since they are economically and environmentally useful,
such
Linking Words
 attention and facilities in
protection
Use synonyms
 should be more.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
What to do next:
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