IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. Write your first letter to the family. In your letter • introduce yourself • ask the family some questions to get information that is important to you • tell the family about your arrival date and time

#visit #zealand #english #homestay #program #host #first #questions #information #date #time
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to a host family to ask how English and housing are in New
Zealand
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.
Because now
Correct word choice
Now
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 I want to start an English language and housing
program
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 in New
Zealand
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. So when I go to a host family in New
Zealand
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, I learn things that I do not know. I am actually an American and my profession is a programmer. Now that I have developed enough programs
from
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in
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 my state.
In addition
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, I wanted to create a new
program
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 by studying things in other countries. After that, I chose New
Zealand
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 and wanted to do the "English Language and Housing"
program
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. When I go there, I will definitely need a house to live in temporarily. Based on
this
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, I will live with a host family in New
Zealand
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. I decided to choose your family. I would like to ask you how are the places in New
Zealand
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. Because these are very important questions for the
program
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 I am creating. I want to finish the
program
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 I am currently creating. I think it will end in 1 month or 1 and a half months.
Besides
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, I will sell
this
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program
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 in 10 days. I will be in New
Zealand
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 in 2 months. Please send your home address if possible. Many thanks in advance. Yours faithfully, Qobiljonova Kamola
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single focus. This will improve the logical structure and readability of your letter.
task achievement
Ensure that your letter addresses all the points clearly and concisely, and make sure the tone is consistently polite and appropriate.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and respectful tone, which is suitable for a first communication with your host family.
coherence cohesion
The letter includes an introduction about yourself and mentions your purpose of the visit, which is good for establishing context.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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