IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #people #actions #change
Nowadays human activity causes damage to our
nature
. Growth of population, industrial development, manufacturing and other aspects affect our plants and animals around the world. The problem is complex and it's not easy to find a way
how
Rephrase
apply
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to compensate for
this
 damage, but it doesn'
t
 mean we shouldn'
t
 search for a possible solution. A rapid expansion of factories, energy stations, and pollution of our air is a consequence of constantly growing humanity's needs. Some countries have limited resources, and the environmental problem is significant,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 other countries don'
t
 care about the negative impact on our
nature
 because of economic situation or a huge amount of territories. Unfortunately, the
overall
 interest in providing safety for our ecological situation is very low. That's why it's more likely that we will not see a rapid change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our environment. It's not true that people cannot make our environment better. There are many successful projects
of reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
damage to our
nature
. One of them, electric cars, is sharply decreasing air pollution on whole continents.
For example
, Norway's government decided to remove all taxes and reduce income taxes for electric car owners. The consequence of
this
 strategy caused the cleanest air in Europe and now more than 75% of cars don'
t
 use gas. The other example is Sweden's garbage recycling factories, which caused a full overcome of all rubbish around the country. Summing up, it's extremely difficult to make a rapid change in our environment, but every project, rather is big or small, can sharply improve our
nature
's safety.
Submitted by kzdan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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