IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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These days employees’ lives are believed to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
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sports activity due to which they are suffering from different diseases.
This
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 tendency is known to have been brought about by a number of factors that are going to be outlined in
this
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 essay below. Regarding why
this
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 phenomenon occurred, it might be due to the general tiredness of
people
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 after having a working
day
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. As a matter of fact, after the end of the hard
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day
Add a comma
,day
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 individuals have to deal with a choice
whether
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of whether
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 to do some exercise or go to sleep earlier to be more productive the
next
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day
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. Undeniably,
people
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 trust their minds about being extremely tired along with
absence
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the absence
an absence
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 of strength so they are likely to reschedule sport on the other
day
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 which is supposed to be free. One way of solving
this
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 problem is planning a timetable more rationally. To be more specific,
,
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apply
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usually
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,usually
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 individuals do not plan their
time
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 accurately after which they suffer from a lack of
time
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 to do their exercise.
Moreover
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, nowadays there is a boom
of
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in
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 social media due to which
people
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 spend an enormous amount of their free
time
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 scrolling posts on their phones.
In other words
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, they do not even notice how long they have been wasting their
time
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 looking for others’ lives.
Consequently
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, there is always enough
time
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 to do some sports activities only when an individual has a proper plan
of
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for
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 his/her daytime. To conclude, nowadays
people
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 are so exhausted after doing their work due to which they, unfortunately, do not have enough energy to do some exercises. To prevent that issue
people
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 should plan their
day
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 more properly along with
stop
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stopping
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 using different distractors
such
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 as a phone in their leisure
time
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.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
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