Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

#medicine #acupuncture #remedies #countries #practice #health

It is suggested that indigenous

medicine

is common in some parts of the world and people who choose

this

way claim that it is superior to modern

medicine

. Since artificial remedies

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many

drawback

Change to a plural noun

drawbacks

show examples

for some parts of

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body , I totally agree that treating people with acupuncture and herbal

medicine

is much

Change the word

apply

show examples

better not only for health but

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

too.

First

and foremost, consuming antibiotics and putting injections constantly due to minor health issues could impair

immune

Add an article

the immune

show examples

system and cause

disbacterious

Correct your spelling

dysbacteriosis

. They can cure illness quickly and easily but they cause

Correct article usage

a distruption

show examples

distruption

Correct your spelling

disruption

immunity

Add an article

the immunity

show examples

system.

Consequently

, the

time when people got flu or cold , they could not be treated without consuming severe antibiotics because their immune system might not work properly.

Moreover

, different tablets and injections do not destroy only good bacteria , but they

also

have a negative effect

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good bacteria and sometimes kill most of them.

As a result

, they cause

disbacterious

Correct your spelling

dysbacteriosis

interpreting

Replace the word

interpretation

show examples

balance of organisms.

Contrary

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Contrarily

show examples

, using natural treatments

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not have any dismal outcomes to the health aspects since

they

Add a verb

arethey

werethey

show examples

predominantly rich in vitamins , minerals and

nutritions

Add an article

the nutritions

show examples

detoxifying

Wrong verb form

detoxify

show examples

human

Correct article usage

the human

show examples

body and do not propagate any infections.

For example

, in the USA patients, who have flu , are treated by abusing vitamins and drinking

limon

Correct your spelling

lemon

tea.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, they are ubiquitous and may grow in gardens and fields.

Thus

, they are not expensive

Change preposition

show examples

other artificial antimicrobial drugs. To sum up , I agree with the folks, who approve of herbal

medicine

, and I reckon that artificial drug dependency may

distrup

Correct your spelling

disrupt

our immunity alongside lead to

disbacterious

Correct your spelling

dysbacteriosis

Therefore

, being treated

Change preposition

with

show examples

natural remedies are cheap and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

fewer bad effects

Submitted by sevinchazimova11 on Wed Dec 21 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Recently, People have many environmental issues and this cause variety of illnesses. What protection government or society should take

some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do agree or dis agree ?.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, clothes cosmetics and even plastic operations. What are the reasons? Is it a good or bad thing?