IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
Because some
people
 are paid exceedingly high,
people
 consider that the ministry should take a part in controlling how
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 workers make and give the remuneration limitation.
However
, others think that it is not the right thing to do. I will give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
further
 explanation below and give my own view.
People
 that think the government should control employee regular payment think that it can bring equality as well as increase the well-being of every person in the country. When the government makes an authority of the amount of
salary
 that each worker should get, there will be no person who will get an extremely high
salary
 or lower payment. Meanwhile, some
people
 agree on the fact that there are
select
Correct article usage
a select
show examples
 few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals who get exceptionally high pay because of their
work
, passion, and experiences. Those
people
 believe that if a person wants to be paid
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a high
salary
, they have to
work
 hard and develop their skills.
On the contrary
,
people
 who do not give effort
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
work
 and are reluctant to move forward will always be stuck at a minimum level, there is no chance that they will get a high
salary
. To conclude, I agree that the government should not control
people
's
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 because
people
 have to be paid
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 how much they have made a contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their company and how well they do at
work
. With the limitation of
salary
, it might achieve equality, but
on the other hand
, it will be a disaster for the working industry because there will be a case where
people
 who
work
 hard will be paid
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low
salary
 and vice versa.
Submitted by annisadevinaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: