Topic: Nowadays in many countries more and more people are spending their time away from their families. Why is this? What are the effects on themselves and on their families?

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Currently, many people, especially young adults, tend to pay more attention to other fields rather than to their families.

This

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essay will analyse possible reasons for

this

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phenomenon and discuss several impacts on each individual and every household. In today’s modern world, recent studies show that younger people are more open-minded and extroverted than older ones, provoking these new generations to escape from their comfort zones and experience new things. Many individuals passionately spend time on outdoor activities,

such

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as adventure sports, voluntary work and travel, which could trigger a distraction lessening their concern for families.

Moreover

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, the rapid innovation of electronic devices,

for instance

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, mobile phones, laptops and touchscreen tablets, and the Internet revolution, have remarkably shifted everyone’s focus from noticing their

beloved

Correct your spelling

loved

show examples

ones towards various

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

purposes.

Consequently

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, parents and young children are busy with their phones playing games, watching movies on Netflix, recording videos on Tik Tok and making new friends on Facebook

instead

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of communicating with each other.

This

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rising issue may provide some notable influences on a person and his family.

First,

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everyone needs a family to count on and receive proper care and advice whenever he encounters difficulties. The inability to maintain family time may lead to severe health conditions

such

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as depression, anxiety, obesity and diabetes.

In addition

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, a chronic lack of parental care is one of the primary roots of juvenile crimes,

for example

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, school violence, substance abuse and robbery, which seriously threaten households and society.

To sum up

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, everyone must think about their priorities. It would be great if they could balance family commitments and other work.

Therefore

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, I believe it is worth everyone investing time in their families.

emily.294.emilyThu Dec 22 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

Develop your supporting points more thoroughly to strengthen the overall structure and coherence of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic: Nowadays in many countries more and more people are spending their time away from their families. Why is this? What are the effects on themselves and on their families?

Your opinion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits Individuals rather than society. To what extend your career do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, services, news) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion