IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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Some argue that it is necessary for people to donate a certain amount of
money
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 they earn to support
charity
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. It seems to me that giving
money
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 to those in need is not the prime way to help them and I will explain why in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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,
charities
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 often target symptoms, not causes. It might be true that
charity
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 helps the recipient with their problem;
however
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, it does not do much to deal with the causes of the problem.
For instance
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, there is a shocking fact that some children are being trafficked away from their parents with promises of education to fake orphanages, where managers fundraise
money
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 to earn a profit. A second negative factor is that
charities
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 are more likely to exacerbate poverty. By
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 we mean that
charity
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 tends to make its receivers more indolent since they are provided for what they need without any hard work. Some even prefer
lean
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to lean
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 on
charities
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 to make
money
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 on their own.
Finally
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, the government is still spending a fixed amount of our taxes on
charity
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 at some point.
Therefore
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, we do not have to worry about
charities
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 and just need to pay tariffs as usual for the sake of our society. It is true that there are some positives to
charity
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, most notably the pleasure of helping others.
Although
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,
charity
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 may not provide the solution to issues
such
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 as poverty and unemployment. In conclusion,
charities
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 are often a short-term fix and
also
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impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
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 indigence negatively.
Furthermore
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, the government usually takes
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 into its own
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
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. So giving
money
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 to support
charities
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 is not an adequate option sometimes. In spite of that, we can offer our time and talent to
charity
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.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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