Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

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Given the significant amount of time

individuals

Use synonyms

spend working throughout their

lives

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, some people believe that the meaning of

life

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would only exist when a worker succeeds in his profession. In

this

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essay,

however

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, I will challenge

this

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thinking by demonstrating that work achievements do not always play a key factor in determining whether or not someone has lived their

Use synonyms

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

to the fullest. Supporters of pursuing professional success highlight how

individuals

Use synonyms

devote two-thirds of their lifespan to their careers.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they argue that failing to achieve significant accomplishments at work would be considered a personal failure given the substantial investment of time and effort.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

thinking fails to factor in the fact that the meaning of an individual’s

life

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should be evaluated throughout their entire

life

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and not just one particular achievement, as evidenced by the fact that many people

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

from self-accusation when they realize how much they have to compromise along the way in exchange for what is considered an exceptional professional. That being the case, striving for higher status within one's career can potentially lead to an unsatisfying

life

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instead

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of a fulfilling one.

This

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is why we should take into consideration a variety of other factors when estimating the degree to which

individuals

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have led their

lives

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with purpose. What is more, a worthwhile

life

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is not just decided with a significant occupation, but

also

Linking Words

engaging in noble acts of helping people in need or underprivileged situations. Under

this

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argument, through

devoting

Replace the word

devotion

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to charity,

individuals

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can find themselves as a part of the greater good.

Therefore

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, if we overrule every other significant purpose and stick with building a successful business, we would likely leave out all the chances that could make our

lives

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worth living.

This

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can be seen in a great number of philanthropists

such

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as Bill Gates or Warren Buffet who have given up their fortune and dedicated their

lives

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to charity work.

This

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is a statement

for

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the fact that

life

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’s purposes can be found in doing noble activities and not just a goal to achieve

such

Linking Words

as having a successful profession. In conclusion, I vehemently oppose the notion that a remarkable vocation should be a person's top priority, considering all the other factors that contribute to the value of their existence.

Submitted by nttung.182 on Thu Dec 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

381 words

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Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The precentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

the chart below shoes yje changes that took place in three different areas of crime in newport city center from 2003 to 2012

In some parts of world , it’s becoming increasingly popular to try to find out the history of their own family, why do you think people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?