Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

Given the significant amount of time

individuals

spend working throughout their

lives

, some people believe that the meaning of

life

would only exist when a worker succeeds in his profession. In

this

essay,

however

, I will challenge

this

thinking by demonstrating that work achievements do not always play a key factor in determining whether or not someone has lived their

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

to the fullest. Supporters of pursuing professional success highlight how

individuals

devote two-thirds of their lifespan to their careers.

Consequently

, they argue that failing to achieve significant accomplishments at work would be considered a personal failure given the substantial investment of time and effort.

Nonetheless

this

thinking fails to factor in the fact that the meaning of an individual’s

life

should be evaluated throughout their entire

life

and not just one particular achievement, as evidenced by the fact that many people

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

from self-accusation when they realize how much they have to compromise along the way in exchange for what is considered an exceptional professional. That being the case, striving for higher status within one's career can potentially lead to an unsatisfying

life

instead

of a fulfilling one.

This

is why we should take into consideration a variety of other factors when estimating the degree to which

individuals

have led their

lives

with purpose. What is more, a worthwhile

life

is not just decided with a significant occupation, but

also

engaging in noble acts of helping people in need or underprivileged situations. Under

this

argument, through

devoting

Replace the word

devotion

show examples

to charity,

individuals

can find themselves as a part of the greater good.

Therefore

, if we overrule every other significant purpose and stick with building a successful business, we would likely leave out all the chances that could make our

lives

worth living.

This

can be seen in a great number of philanthropists

such

as Bill Gates or Warren Buffet who have given up their fortune and dedicated their

lives

to charity work.

This

is a statement

for

Change preposition

show examples

the fact that

life

’s purposes can be found in doing noble activities and not just a goal to achieve

such

as having a successful profession. In conclusion, I vehemently oppose the notion that a remarkable vocation should be a person's top priority, considering all the other factors that contribute to the value of their existence.

Submitted by nttung.182 on Thu Dec 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

381 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

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