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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
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In
this
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 modern day and age, several infractions are caused by the younger generation. It can be clearly seen that there are lots of
reasons
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 for
this
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 trend and
also
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, many methods can be taken to tackle the issues. There are many
reasons
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 why there are numerous teenage crimes in several countries.
To begin
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 with, the criminal acts of teenagers can be caused by the lack of education from
parents
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. Lots of
parents
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 often focus on making money in order to feed their family but they forget to spend time educating and leading their
children
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 to go in the right way.
As a result
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,
children
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 want to try everything on their own and they might become a criminal at a young age.
For example
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, in Vietnam, most adolescent criminals lack background education from their families.
Moreover
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, not being able to share feelings with another person is one of the major
reasons
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.
Due to
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 the generation gap between
parents
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 and
children
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, the younger generations might not choose their mom or dad to express their feelings. After a long period of not having opportunities to express feelings,
children
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 may want to find a solution to release their pressure and involvement in criminal activities might become their selection.
Although
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 the rate of teenage criminals is high in some regions, there are several methods that can be taken to tackle the problem.
First,
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education coming from guardians plays an important role in preventing
children
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 from being involved in infractions.
Parents
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 should spend time educating and leading their
children
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 to the bright path.
For instance
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, they can make use of time for meals to talk with their young about their problems and offer them help.
Second,
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talking with
children
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 might be one of the significant ways to keep them away from falling foul of the laws. The younger generation often wants to make an impression and they might create unlawful acts. Just by talking with them regularly,
parents
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 can prevent them from getting involved in criminal acts. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the number of teenage criminals in today's society is on the rise
due to
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 certain
reasons
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.
However
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, lots of measures can be taken in order to completely tackle the problems.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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task response
Your essay does not fully address all aspects of the task. Make sure to thoroughly discuss both the reasons for the high proportion of teenage criminal acts and the methods to deal with it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion, but there are instances where the logical progression of ideas is unclear. Work on expressing your ideas in a more organized manner to improve coherence and cohesion.
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