IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As computers are being used more and more in education, teachers will soon be unnecessary To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is believed that with the advent of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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computers
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 will be used to educate in schools rather than tutors , as it is widely used in schools these days. I disagree with
this
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 point reasons will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, nowadays pupils use digital technology and the internet to complete most of their assignments and projects
such
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 as PowerPoint and spreadsheets.
However
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,
computers
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 cannot replace teachers completely as with the help of modern technology pupils can get only the answer to the question, but they are not able to discuss it. Without ,teacher classrooms
will
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would
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 be boring as there would be no one to interact with the children and talk with them.
Hence
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,computer systems can not monitor the class and teach the students moral values.
For example
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, if a student needs to discuss mathematical questions only a human being can explain them properly, as
computers
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 will only give the right answer.
Furthermore
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,
computers
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 can not interact with learners in the classroom. If anyone needs to discuss any doubt only the instructor can help them.
as
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As
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 a tutor not only educate their students in academic skills
as well as
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 teach them social skills.
For instance
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, they teach them how to behave in society and respect their elders and parents and should
also
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 tell their life experiences and motivational stories to encourage them to
get
Verb problem
apply
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success
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succeed
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 in their
life
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lives
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, which can not be taught by computer devices.
To conclude
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,
computers
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 will be used in the classrooms as educators can provide some learning activities to their students but they cannot be replaced by tutors completely.

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task response
The essay contains relevant points, but it lacks depth and clear examples to support the arguments. Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but there is a need for better organization of ideas within paragraphs and clearer connectivity between sentences. Use linking words and transition phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-learning
  • Digital curriculum
  • Online resources
  • Personalized learning
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Critical thinking
  • Motivational strategies
  • Ethical guidance
  • Remote learning
  • Blended learning
  • Hybrid educational models
  • Instructor-led training
  • Human-computer interaction
  • Technological pedagogy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Cognitive development
  • 21st-century skills
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