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Band 5

Some people think that humans can use animals for their benefits. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #humans #animals #practice
Animals
 have been an unreplaceable
source
 of
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
 for hundred
thousands
Change preposition
of thousands
show examples
 of years. But recently, there has been a heated controversy between
animal-lovers
Correct your spelling
animal lovers
show examples
 and those who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to exploit their advantages. Now, I will go through each point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and show my perspective.
Firstly
, just like other living creatures,
animals
 have feelings. They can feel pain, joy,
Correct word choice
and desperate
show examples
desperate
Replace the word
desperation
show examples
 when losing their family, so killing them just to satisfy our fleeting taste for flesh is against our empathy towards living
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
.
Instead
 of using their product as a nutrition
source
, others believed that plants can provide us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
pretty good
source
 of vitamins and proteins,
hence
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
 the fact that
animals
 shouldn’t be used as food.
Additionally
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other cruelties towards
animals
 like turning them into lab rats should be abolished, since we can use inmates serving capital sentences.
Consequently
, it can serve as their death
penatly
Correct your spelling
penalty
 while saving a considerable
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 for the government. But I still have a strong belief that these
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
perspectives
 may not be practical in real life.
First
 of all, replacing
meat
 products with vegetables might not be a good idea because the proteins that
meat
 has is richer than vegetables.
Also
,
in
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apply
show examples
certain types of
meat
 like
seafoods
Change the wording
seafood
kinds of seafood
plates of seafood
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, it contains a good
source
Omega
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of Omega
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 3
which
Correct word choice
and
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 its content may be greater than
greens
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in greens
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.
Furthermore
, mammals are the best experiment subject, specifically brown rats (or lab rats as a common name), for
large-scaled
Correct your spelling
large-scale
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 experiments as they are portable and outnumber the inmates.
For instance
, during Covid-19, many of them
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been brought into experiments to test out the efficiency of the vaccines which later prevent a lot of citizens from being infected by covid. Though we all know that we are treating
animals
 in
an inhumane ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
inhumane ways
an inhumane way
show examples
, we can’t instantly give up on them yet since they play an important role in our life.
Instead
, we can do something more gentle like euthanize them to make food or limit what types of
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can collect
Change preposition
for its
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 benefits. Overall, I have a strong belief that vegetables can’t completely replace
meat
 products but we should treat
animals
 as
kind
Change the word
kindly
show examples
 as possible to pay respect to what nature has
give
Change the verb form
given
show examples
 us and to the one who fell down for our survival.
Submitted by shynlee01 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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