Some people think that humans can use animals for their benefits. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Animals
Use synonyms
have been utilized by humans for ages, in many aspects
such
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as food or medicine, but nowadays some people believe that the performance
on
Change preposition
of
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animals
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for personal or social benefits is wrong and needs to be prohibited,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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it is impossible to stop using
animals
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for our
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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. On one side, humans have been using
animals
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for personal purposes
such
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as clothes, medicine,
food
Correct word choice
and food
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…., which leads to a faith that
animals
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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the key to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
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many problems.
Although
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, we cannot detest the fact that
animals
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comes
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come
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with many profits especially when they provided us with a rich source of proteins and vitamins
form
Correct your spelling
from
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their meat and milk.
Nevertheless
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, it is very cruel to use
animals
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for selfish purposes like
thousands
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ofthousands
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cases of cutting off
Rhinos
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Rhino's
Rhinos'
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horns for traditional Chinese medicine
,
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apply
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or hunting down grizzlies or tigers for their fur which is commonly used in
fashion
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the fashion
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industry for making fur coats.
This
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is truly a
sinfulness
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sinful
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action. Despite the undeniable profits of
animals
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provided us.
However
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, I’m more likely to lean towards the idea of treating
animals
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more humanitarian since they can feel pain and
afraid
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are afraid
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of death just like we do, there are many solutions for
this
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issue
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can make a contribution by eating less meat and support the vegetarian diet, which can create an enormous change in our lifestyle, on top of that people needs to change their perspectives of how they see
animals
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and condemn the poaching of wild
animals
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, which can make a huge impact in society since everyone is against
this
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cruel and selfish action. In summary, I think we should try our best to reduce the consumption of
animals
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as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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as possible, and we can do our bit by becoming a vegetarian or
criticize
Wrong verb form
criticising
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the poaching and violation of
animals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shynlee01 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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