IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Nowadays many people make purchases with
credit
cards
 rather than with cash. The reason behind it could be that
credit
cards
 are easy to
use
 and have some refundment benefits as a “cash-back”.
However
, even if there are some drawbacks
such
 as
cyberattack
Correct article usage
a cyberattack
show examples
 on your account, I think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
Firstly
,
credit
cards
 are more comfortable and safe to
use
. Especially when it comes to big purchases like a car or apartment, it is easier to pay
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
little
plastic-card
Correct your spelling
plastic card
show examples
 in comparison to a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
show examples
 pockets of cash.
In addition
, you could simply lose all the cash in an accident, while
credit
cards
 are way more secure to
use
 due to pin-codes and other verification methods. As a matter of
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 statistics have shown that more than 67% of Kazakhstanis
use
credit
cards
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it is a more practical and efficient way to pay.
Moreover
, some of the banks provide a refundment system which calls a cash-back.
Cash-back
Correct article usage
A Cash-back
show examples
 system keeps a certain amount of money whenever you make purchases and it can be spent later for any other purposes.
For example
,
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the most popular banks in Kazakhstan- Kaspi Bank- always adds 10% of the cash-back for each payment, and if you buy an iPhone for $1500 with Kaspi, it will refund you $150 extra, so it can be spent on new AirPods. In conclusion, despite the fact that there are some chances to lose money because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital attacks on bank accounts, people will keep on paying by
credit
cards
 due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 profitability and usefulness.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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