IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation?Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #situation #job #shortage #money
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In
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the fast
a fast
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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 world, it is imperative to accept
current
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the current
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 situation and move on. A group of
people
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 think that
one
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 has to accept
down falls
Correct your spelling
downfalls
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 and stay on
it
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them
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, the opponents of
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 view say that
one
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 has to ameliorate prevailing sordid conditions to become successful. I believe that
people
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 should augment their
situations
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 like unsatisfactory
job
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jobs
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 and poverty as an unhappy
life
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 is not worth living and may pave the way to
depression
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. On the
one
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 hand,
life
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 is not predictable and sometimes risky,
however
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, hard work can
be improve
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improve
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 bad
situations
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. The prime point is that
,
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apply
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people
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 could get ultimate happiness
,
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apply
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 if they work hard to
change
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Correct pronoun usage
their profile
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profile
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profiles
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. By
this
Linking Words
 I mean, living in an unpleasant situation may
leads
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lead
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 to sadness and
lose
Replace the word
loss
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 of hope. It is better to accept
current
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the current
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 situation and take
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the risk
a risk
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risk
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risks
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 to
change
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 status results in
long term
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long-term
show examples
 happiness. To cite an example,
one
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 of my friends who
was
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were
show examples
 poor worked hard to
change
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 her status, she resigned from her former company as
unsatisfied
Correct article usage
an unsatisfied
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 firm and joined another MNC within 2 months,
although
Linking Words
 it was a risky decision. At
present
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,present
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 she is very happy about that decision. Another pertinent point is that,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to improve bad
situations
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also
Linking Words
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 self-confidence. To explicate, trying to
change
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 bad
situations
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 encourage
to take
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taking
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 risk in future and there will be
a
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apply
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hope. When
consider
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considering
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 my friend’s
life
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, she is a successful professional and
happiest
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the happiest
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 woman I ever know.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are umpteen risks
one
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 has to face whilst improving worst
situations
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.
One
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 mentionable point is that
,
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apply
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 taking too
much
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many
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 risks may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to sadness and
depression
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. To explain
further
Linking Words
, if
one
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 has taken a huge amount of bank loan due to monetary issues, and
one
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 could not
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
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 the mortgage may pave the way to
depression
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 and sadness.
For instance
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, in India,
people
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 have taken bank loans for improving their
business
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businesses
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 and to construct
house
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houses
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 not even considering their income.
This
Linking Words
 caused many of them to
depression
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 and even death. Taking risks to
change
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 status is not a wrong thing but before taking
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
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 consider capacity and capability. In conclusion, I believe that living
in
Change preposition
apply
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an unpleasant
life
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 may result in
depression
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 and stress. It is better to
change
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 bad
situations
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 for a bright and happy future.
Submitted by jackjohn0590 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
What to do next:
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