Countries with longer working hours enjoy an economic advantage, but they suffer from certain negative social effects, do you agree or disagree?
It is true that in
this
day and age, opinion is divided over whether economic merit outweighs the negative impact caused by working hours. In this
essay, I will look at both sides of this
debate as well as
offer my own point of view.
Turning first of all to the arguments in favour of this
idea, it goes without saying that overworking leads to health problems such
as physical ailments, like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart maladies. Furthermore
, mental issues also
cannot be ignored due to
the fact that suffering from mental illness could be a reason for quitting a job. At the same time, overworked individuals have less chance to go back home and relax and care for their bodies physically and mentally.
As far as the other side of this
debate is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that the workforce at the workplace is unable to be replaced and the economic effects obtained from the workforce will make our current daily lives better. It may also
be worth noting that the economic effects obtained at work will be semi-permanent as long as society exists. For instance
, in my country Japan, Japan experienced a bubble economy and still I feel the benefits of economic growth at that time.
By way of conclusion, from the examples and ideas above it can be seen that there are valid arguments on this
debate. However
, I am of the grand scheme of things, the disadvantages on social with overwork outweigh the benefits in economics. I suppose, companies ought to limit their employee's working hours and strive for public safety.Submitted by yusei.nakano on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the debate and provides a conclusion. However, providing more detailed and specific examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they could be more comprehensively developed. Adding more depth to each argument would help.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next. Transitions between ideas can be improved for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure your conclusion restates your main points more clearly.
task achievement
Your introduction nicely sets up the essay topic and your intent to discuss both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example from Japan, which helps to illustrate your point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a particular aspect.
coherence cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.