Countries with longer working hours enjoy an economic advantage, but they suffer from certain negative social effects, do you agree or disagree?

It is true that in

this

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day and age, opinion is divided over whether economic merit outweighs the negative impact caused by working hours. In

this

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essay, I will look at both sides of

this

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debate

as well as

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offer my own point of view. Turning first of all to the arguments in favour of

this

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idea, it goes without saying that overworking leads to health problems

such

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as physical ailments, like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart maladies.

Furthermore

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, mental issues

also

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cannot be ignored

due to

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the fact that suffering from mental illness could be a reason for quitting a job. At the same time, overworked individuals have less chance to go back home and relax and care for their bodies physically and mentally. As far as the other side of

this

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debate is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that the workforce at the workplace is unable to be replaced and the economic effects obtained from the workforce will make our current daily lives better. It may

also

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be worth noting that the economic effects obtained at work will be semi-permanent as long as society exists.

For instance

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, in my country Japan, Japan experienced a bubble economy and still I feel the benefits of economic growth at that time. By way of conclusion, from the examples and ideas above it can be seen that there are valid arguments on

this

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debate.

However

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, I am of the grand scheme of things, the disadvantages on social with overwork outweigh the benefits in economics. I suppose, companies ought to limit their employee's working hours and strive for public safety.

yusei.nakanoWed May 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the debate and provides a conclusion. However, providing more detailed and specific examples would strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but they could be more comprehensively developed. Adding more depth to each argument would help.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next. Transitions between ideas can be improved for better flow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure your conclusion restates your main points more clearly.

task achievement

Your introduction nicely sets up the essay topic and your intent to discuss both sides of the argument.

task achievement

You provided a relevant example from Japan, which helps to illustrate your point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a particular aspect.

coherence cohesion

You have both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Countries with longer working hours enjoy an economic advantage, but they suffer from certain negative social effects, do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference. Others say that individuals can help to protect the environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.