IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that
climate
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change
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 is one of the most serious problems facing the world today.
While
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 some people believe that we should accept it and find ways to live with it, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why I believe that preventing
climate
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change
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 should be our main focus. On the one hand, it is true that adapting to
climate
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change
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 is necessary in some cases.
For example
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, some cities have built higher sea walls to protect against rising sea levels, and farmers are trying new methods to deal with changing weather patterns.
In other words
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, some adaptation is important because the effects of
climate
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change
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 are already happening and cannot be ignored.
However
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, simply learning to live with
climate
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change
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 without trying to stop it is not a good solution in the long term.
On the other hand
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, preventing
climate
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change
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 is much more important and effective.
Firstly
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, if we do not act to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, the damage to our environment will continue to grow and become even harder to manage.
For instance
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, extreme weather events like floods, droughts, and hurricanes will become more frequent and severe.
Secondly
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, the cost of adapting to worse
climate
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 conditions will be much higher than the cost of preventing it now.
Also
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, future generations will suffer from our inaction if we do not take strong steps today to protect the planet. In conclusion,
while
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 it is important to make adjustments to deal with some effects of
climate
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change
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, I firmly believe that prevention must be our top priority. By reducing emissions, investing in clean energy, and protecting natural resources, we can slow down
climate
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change
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 and create a safer world for future generations.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a roadmap for your argument, which is excellent. However, consider rephrasing the thesis statement to make it more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
The use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps in clearly delineating your arguments. To improve the flow, you might want to use more varied linking words and phrases between paragraphs.
task achievement
While you provided good examples to support your points, including specific data or figures could strengthen your arguments further. For instance, citing a study or statistic related to the costs of climate adaptation versus prevention would enhance credibility.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that clearly outline your arguments, and a concise conclusion. Excellent work on organization!
task achievement
You express a strong opinion throughout your essay, which is persuasive and well-articulated. Your arguments logically support your viewpoint on the need for prevention of climate change.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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