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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

#people #hours
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It is alarming that working overtime is increasingly prevalent among employees these days. Reasons for
this
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 phenomenon vary, and it has several impacts.
To begin
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 with, there are several explanations for
said
Add an article
the said
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 matter.
First
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, employees have to make an uphill effort to be able to compete with others. To be specific, a lucrative vocation is a dream of an ample number of workers but only a fraction of them are able to achieve it. In fact, an increase in the unemployment rate
of
Change preposition
in
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 Vietnam and the wave of staff cuts due to the Covid-19 epidemic forced new graduate students to
work
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 day and night to become official staff.
Second
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, a significant number of current enterprises are assigning a large amount of
work
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 per employee. Compared to previous generations who have many sisters or brothers, current generations are mostly
sole
Correct article usage
the sole
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 children in the family so they tackle the financial burden
such
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 as taking leading responsibilities of ministering to their ageing
parents
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 and their offspring.
Therefore
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, it is compulsory for them to accomplish all
work
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 tasks to be able to receive income, which assists them to raise their family. Unfortunately, the topic in question poses several threats.
First
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 and foremost, overwork has been linked to declines in not only mental but
also
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 physical health. To be specific, workers sit to
work
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 too long and under too much stress, resulting in an increase in the risk of conditions
such
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 as depression, insomnia and joint pain.
In addition
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, their children are negatively affected when not receiving enough attention from their
parents
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. To be elaborate, having
the
Correct article usage
apply
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care from
parents
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 in the adolescent stage is especially important for shaping moral identities. In fact, in Vietnam, a significant number of adolescents, who are drug addicts or engage in illegal motorcycle races, are caught in jail due to the lack of
parents
Use synonyms
’ time in teaching them. In short, the massive amount of
work
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 and intense competitions force the labour force to
work
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 extra hours.
As a result
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, both (
parents
Use synonyms
 and their children) must be given detrimental effects on physical and mental health in the long run.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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