some say that, art and drama are as important as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

#say #art #drama #school #subjects #level

Nowadays, some

people

say that

art

and

drama

have a value as same as other school subjects

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

at the

basicaly

Correct your spelling

basic

level.

Thus

, the essay aims to elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

reasons why I

partically

Correct your spelling

particularly

partially

agree aforementioned.

To begin

with,

People

have

a knowledge

Remove the article

knowledge

a piece of knowledge

show examples

about

art

drama

even if a little, they can spread for their future

job

's possibility.

This

is because, comparing

people

who do not have knowledge

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

at all about

art

drama

, others have

possibility

Add an article

the possibility

a possibility

show examples

to intrigued relative jobs

such

as actor / actress or artist

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

is painting or

crafter

Replace the word

crafting

show examples

. To illustrate, if created amazing painting by a

child

in their school class,

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

may feel good and

Correct article usage

the viewer

show examples

viewer

Fix the agreement mistake

viewers

show examples

noticed the

child

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

to become

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

artist. After, the

child

is really into

art

and

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

relative

job

However

, if the

child

did not meet that chance which

interested

Replace the word

interest

show examples

in arts, the

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

future way to proceed relative

art

job

colsed

Correct your spelling

closed

possibly.

Therefore

experience is worthwhile at least.

However

drama

art

relative

job

miner

Add an article

a miner

show examples

for our society comparing

another

Fix the agreement mistake

other jobs

show examples

job

for the sake of demand

Change the verb form

are

show examples

few for our living.

For example

, the

oppotunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

hardly confuse for living even if

art

drama

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not exist. So when

people

seek

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that amusement, they have

Add an article

a situation

the situation

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

when they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free time or enough money only.

In other words

, if that amusement

dissapeard

Correct your spelling

disappears

, we can live.

Thus

it can describe that

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

or actor / actress is difficult for them to make ends

meeet

Correct your spelling

meet

. In conclusion, I reiterate that

partialy

Correct your spelling

partially

people

may spread their

job

variations,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

almost

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

people

get

non-relative

Add an article

a non-relative

the non-relative

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

for

art

drama

. So I

partically

Correct your spelling

partially

particularly

agree

that

Change preposition

with that

show examples

statement.

Submitted by euler0279 on Fri Dec 23 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some say that, art and drama are as important as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

CEOs and executives should be paid the same salary as an average worker in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.