After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

For most
pupils
Add a comma
,pupils
show examples
the crucial issue is that after finishing school, which
way
is suitable to get achievements Some
people
conceive that they should keep on their education
in contrast
, other
people
claim that they should enter to
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
immediately to obtain success . There are diverse reasons to justify
to continue
Change the verb form
continuing
show examples
higher education.
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we are facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various development in the world and most firms are willing to employ
people
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
authentic degree
thus
, it is
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
issue for young
people
if they want to gain prodigious achievements
furthermore
, having
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
can steer young
people
to create their personal
market
in a field that they are expert. They have sufficient information about that and it can be a milestone for them to flourish their talent in a specific
way
that they have studied.
In
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
some
people
argue that the best
way
to earn more money is
Correct article usage
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
. We can express some logical reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
that.in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
it is a certain
way
.
Firstly
, young
people
can
ern
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
money without any hesitation after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school and it is so helpful for them to improve their confidence so, they can start
a
Change the article
an
show examples
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
life
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
it is possible for them to obtain some tremendous experience
as a result
, they are able to accomplish great tasks at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age. To sum up,
people
have various
conviction
Fix the agreement mistake
convictions
show examples
about
this
topic some of them believe that young
people
have to spend time to get
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
in
specific
Add an article
the specific
show examples
field yet some
people
claim that if young
people
desire to get achievements they ought to enter to
Add an article
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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