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Writing Samples
Band 4

After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

#school #students #work #period #time #university #gap #years
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For most
pupils
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,pupils
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 the crucial issue is that after finishing school, which
way
 is suitable to get achievements Some
people
 conceive that they should keep on their education
in contrast
, other
people
 claim that they should enter to
labor
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labour
show examples
market
 immediately to obtain success . There are diverse reasons to justify
to continue
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continuing
show examples
 higher education.
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we are facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various development in the world and most firms are willing to employ
people
 who
has
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have
show examples
 authentic degree
thus
, it is
vital
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a vital
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 issue for young
people
 if they want to gain prodigious achievements
furthermore
, having
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 can steer young
people
 to create their personal
market
 in a field that they are expert. They have sufficient information about that and it can be a milestone for them to flourish their talent in a specific
way
 that they have studied.
In
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 some
people
 argue that the best
way
 to earn more money is
Correct article usage
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
. We can express some logical reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that.in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 it is a certain
way
.
Firstly
, young
people
 can
ern
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
 money without any hesitation after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school and it is so helpful for them to improve their confidence so, they can start
a
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an
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independence
Replace the word
independent
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 life
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, in addition,
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in addition
 it is possible for them to obtain some tremendous experience
as a result
 , they are able to accomplish great tasks at
young
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a young
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 age. To sum up,
people
 have various
conviction
Fix the agreement mistake
convictions
show examples
 about
this
 topic some of them believe that young
people
 have to spend time to get
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 in
specific
Add an article
the specific
show examples
 field yet some
people
 claim that if young
people
 desire to get achievements they ought to enter to
Add an article
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
.
Submitted by mh.solati94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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