IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that all students should wear uniform when going to school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #uniform #school
Some
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 that
students
 should wear
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
insterad
Correct your spelling
instead
 of normal clothing. Some might argue that
students
 should wear normal
clothes
instead
 of
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I
belives
 that wearing
uniform
 help
students
 with organization and
united
Replace the word
unity
show examples
. Wearing
school
uniform
 helps
students
 with clothing burden since everyone
wear
Change the verb form
wears
show examples
 the same
uniform
.
Therefore
, no discriminations and individuals worry about
style
. To some extent, can help with the bully in
school
 due to
style
.
For example
, wearing the same
uniform
 means that everyone
wear
Change the verb form
wears
show examples
 the same thing,
thus
, less styling and
unite
Replace the word
unity
show examples
. As
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 of
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in
Canada
Add a comma
,Canada
show examples
 I not feeling left out since
Correct pronoun usage
I wvery
show examples
wvery
Correct your spelling
every
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wearingg
Correct your spelling
wearing
 the same things.
However
, I
belives
Correct your spelling
belive
show examples
 that
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 able to wear normal
clothes
 can bring
students
' personality and
style
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
, it might bring some
discriminations
Fix the agreement mistake
discrimination
show examples
 toward
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 sense of
fasion
Correct your spelling
fashion
.
For example
, in public
school
 wearing normal
clothes
 is normal.
Although
, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 might face some
discriminations
Fix the agreement mistake
discrimination
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
students
 are able to express themself
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 their individual
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
.
Thus
, be able to express them self In short. I
belives
 that wearing normal
clothes
 can help
students
 to express their
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
.
Also
, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globolizations
Correct your spelling
globalisation
students
 are able to express
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
show examples
 more.
Submitted by clint.youngchim on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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