some say that, art and drama are as important as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

#say #art #drama #school #subjects #level

It is said by some people that

curriculumn

Correct your spelling

curriculum

activities

such

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

and music courses should be followed

besides

academic lessons because they are extremely essential. I agree with

this

statement to some extent.

To begin

with, in some ordinary students there is a hidden artist who has not trained yet. If

Change the article

show examples

appropriate class for them not be existed, their potential in artistic works will not be found, which has drawbacks for that student and society at the same time.

For example

, imagine

Mozzart

Correct your spelling

Mozart

was in

Add an article

the today

show examples

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

education system

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and had to learn about math and physic

instead

of playing

piano

Change the article

the piano

show examples

and learning music theory. we would not be able to listen to

such

a great masterpieces

Correct the article-noun agreement

great masterpieces

a great masterpiece

show examples

if he did not follow art.

In addition

as a result

, the pupils who are participated in

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of activities, have shown better performance in academic exams. Actually, having entertainment in school as a

curriculmn

Correct your spelling

curriculum

class helps youth

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

show examples

stress and not be

obssesed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

with numbers and science fields for all the time.

For instance

, in my institute, our teachers

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

assisting the parents launched

painting

Correct article usage

a painting

show examples

cours

Correct your spelling

course

, which I experienced less anxiety after joining. Because I turned all my thoughts into shapes on the

canvans

Correct your spelling

canvas

. To sum up,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters need to bloom their talents which are useful for the individual and

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

nation.

Moreover

, during these

activities

Add a comma

,activities

show examples

they can be calmed, and be free of the fear of exams.

Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on Fri Dec 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?
Increasing of well-educated children is because of prefering whatching T.V instead of reading books,as well as, more time are spent on T.V progerams by children.I fairly agree with this statment due to two reasons. First there are a lot of non-beneficial shows on T,V and second, lack of consideration can be introduced by advertisment on T.V when watching an educational program.
5
band
Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There an argumentative statement heating up a debate how to become fruitful. While some claim that the sole way to become a high achiever is to enter colleges, others say that it has heavy dependence on alternative elements. While each has its own merits, i would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors.
5.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In a thriving economic democracy, selecting a country to dedicate is burdensome for a multitude of experts. As a matter of fact, some people assert that skilful workers namely doctors and engineers should contribute to the nation where they did their vocational training course. However, despite the fact that the above statement is quite true to a certain extent, from my perspective, the aforementioned breadwinners should have the freedom in making their own determination in these stipulations.
5
band
Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The issue which many children come across the disability to learn other languages, and some believe that because of this problem, students should not be forced by their schools to study these foreign languages. This is what I completely disagree with in many diverse aspects.
6.5
band
Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?
It is often argued that books are irreplaceable with television as a learning tool and that children are less well-educated today. I strongly disagree with this statement because nowadays, children are more well-educated due to the introduction of televisions

some say that, art and drama are as important as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?