Nowadays, people ore consuming more and more non-sugar based drinks. Why do they do so? Suggest measures to solve the sugar-based to solve the problem.

#people #ore #non-sugar #drinks #measures

In recent years, individuals

consume

Wrong verb form

have consumed

show examples

an increasing amount of free-sugar drinks. The impending essay will discuss the reasons for it and will elaborate on two possible options for

this

issue with a logical conclusion. There are multiple reasons why the community use more non-sugar energy drinks.

To begin

with, chemical liquor leads to health problems because it has a detrimental effect on the heart.

As a consequence

, heart vessels become narrow, and the blood

flows decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

flow decreases

show examples

dramatically.

For example

, the Times has announced that almost 66% of blood pressure patients in Toronto, Canada drank 4 cons of Pepsi in a day.

Furthermore

, free-sugar energies contribute to a significant increase in

gaining

Verb problem

apply

show examples

weight because the human body can not bear sugars resulting in having a

bad

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

shaped

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

body There are two viable solutions for

this

issue.

Firstly

, consumers may boycott all sugar con products resulting in a significant decrease in the number of goods because companies will stop or decrease their goods to the markets.

Additionally

, people may have all kinds of drinks but they can implement physical activities because it will be helpful for their bodies whatever they eat or drink.

For instance

, if a person attends the gym for half an hour daily, he or she will have a healthy lifestyle even if they are not on a diet.

To conclude

, these days, individuals buy more and more soft liquor compared to sugar ones.

while

health diseases and being overweight are the main reasons, physical exercise and boycotting the products will be the liable options for it.

Submitted by sohail917 on Fri Dec 23 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are not clear and comprehensive. The body paragraphs are not well-organized and lack logical progression.

task achievement

The essay provides some relevant ideas but the response is incomplete. The examples are somewhat relevant but need more development to fully address the task.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, people ore consuming more and more non-sugar based drinks. Why do they do so? Suggest measures to solve the sugar-based to solve the problem.

Immigration has a major impact on society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead ?

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

84.Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you thing this is a positive or a negative development?

11.Some people believe that parents have great influence on children’s growth but others think that influence from the outside plays more important role. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.