Nowadays, people ore consuming more and more non-sugar based drinks. Why do they do so? Suggest measures to solve the sugar-based to solve the problem.

In recent years, individuals
consume
Wrong verb form
have consumed
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an increasing amount of free-sugar drinks. The impending essay will discuss the reasons for it and will elaborate on two possible options for
this
issue with a logical conclusion. There are multiple reasons why the community use more non-sugar energy drinks.
To begin
with, chemical liquor leads to health problems because it has a detrimental effect on the heart.
As a consequence
, heart vessels become narrow, and the blood
flows decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
flow decreases
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dramatically.
For example
, the Times has announced that almost 66% of blood pressure patients in Toronto, Canada drank 4 cons of Pepsi in a day.
Furthermore
, free-sugar energies contribute to a significant increase in
gaining
Verb problem
apply
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weight because the human body can not bear sugars resulting in having a
bad
Correct word choice
apply
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shaped
the
Correct article usage
apply
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body There are two viable solutions for
this
issue.
Firstly
, consumers may boycott all sugar con products resulting in a significant decrease in the number of goods because companies will stop or decrease their goods to the markets.
Additionally
, people may have all kinds of drinks but they can implement physical activities because it will be helpful for their bodies whatever they eat or drink.
For instance
, if a person attends the gym for half an hour daily, he or she will have a healthy lifestyle even if they are not on a diet.
To conclude
, these days, individuals buy more and more soft liquor compared to sugar ones.
while
health diseases and being overweight are the main reasons, physical exercise and boycotting the products will be the liable options for it.
Submitted by sohail917 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clear and comprehensive. The body paragraphs are not well-organized and lack logical progression.
task achievement
The essay provides some relevant ideas but the response is incomplete. The examples are somewhat relevant but need more development to fully address the task.
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