IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative impact both on individuals and society. Extent do you agree?

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Due to the rapid development of modern technology,
people
Use synonyms
 could easily get information from their
smartphones
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 through social media.
However
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, some argue that there are tremendous negative effects on our society and individuals. In
this
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 essay, I will present my opinions in detail.
Firstly
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,
people
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 spend too much time on social media which inevitably leads to huge detrimental effects on
people
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's health.
For example
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, once we open the apps on the smartphone, we used to emerge to it.
Besides
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, what's worse is we fiddle with our phones while sitting on a sofa which affects disastrous effects on our health. According to statistics, the more
people
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 use
smartphones
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, the less they spend time on exercise and the rate of obesity is alarmingly increasing.
Besides
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, addiction to using
smartphones
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 is surging which potentially causes a huge social problem.
Moreover
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, the number of children using
smartphones
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 is soaring, and
this
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 leads to the rate of students who are suffering from smartphone addiction.
Thus
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, It should not be overlooked that addiction in children is linked to cognitive development which means a devastating effect on our society. To sum up, social networking sites not only could destroy a person's life but possibly could have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
severe consequences on our society. Both governments and schools work together and make sure that things do not get worse anymore.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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