Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?
It is alarming that working overtime is increasingly prevalent in a large population of employees. Reasons for
this
phenomenon vary, and it has several impacts. These would
be elucidated below.
Wrong verb form
will
To begin
with, there are several explanations for said matter. First,
workers have to cover their families’ expenses. To be specific, it is impossible for them to afford the high price for necessities which grows exponentially with their formal salaries. As a result
, they are required to allocate more time to extra work which enables them to receive lucrative income. Second,
they desire to quickly reach new heights of
their career. Change preposition
in
In particular
, there are fierce competitions among staff in corporations which provide a myriad of benefits and opportunities. Thus
, working more than the essential time enables them to have an excellent performance so they could
easily climb career ladders.
Unfortunately, the topic in question poses a variety of hindrances for workers. First and foremost, staff are more likely to face serious health issues. To elaborate, being exposed to the computer screen leads to vision impairments . Worse still, they are forced to adopt a sedentary lifestyle when sitting for hours and suffer from mental diseases Wrong verb form
can
due to
their overwhelmed state. In addition
, they lack time to concentrate on other crucial aspects. Particularly, overtime work prevents them from paying attention to their families and establishing social relationships. Therefore
, they could be isolated and separated from their loved ones and friends, who offer them motivation and energy.
In conclusion, working overtime is quite attractive because of financial advantages and job promotions. Nonetheless
, it could deprive personnel of protecting their well-being and personal lives.Submitted by nttung.182 on
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task response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more distinct and comprehensive, providing a clear overview of the essay content. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has presented relevant points, however, a stronger and more cohesive argument can be built by providing clearer explanations and examples for the reasons behind working longer hours, as well as the problems this may cause.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...