IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged that business owners tend to hire employees who will sign the contract with a lifelong duration. In my opinion,
while
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 these employment projects can lead to financial stability and guarantee individuals' revenue, unforeseen circumstances like making people slaves, and disadvantaging with social
packages
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 can occur. With the immense increase of big tech companies, nowadays, we can observe more and more talent acquisition agents that offer long-term
contracts
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, including healthcare and social
packages
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.
Additionally
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, they attract more intelligent specialists with career development projects, providing clear policies and flexibility to level up the career ladder.
For instance
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, in Kazan, IT companies like HalalGuide and Cuma launched a special program for the young generation of programmers by promoting 10 to 20-year-long
contracts
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 with 100% medical treatment coverage
packages
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, a special 10% bank discount for their accommodation pursuit, and free gym and aerobic vouchers in the city centre.
On the other hand
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, signing long-term
contracts
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 can have its drawbacks in terms of narrowing future perspectives if employees want to have more career development, extend other personal skills and gather more effective experience.
For example
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, in Moscow,
according to
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 the statistics, the number of unsatisfied office workers increased significantly by 40% over the
last
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 two decades. The primary source of the issue was their contract details, with disadvantaged social
packages
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 and a lack of financial benefits.
Additionally
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, it was accompanied by long-term conditions, causing an emotionally stressful office atmosphere among colleagues throughout their mutual contribution. In conclusion, in the 21st century, employment offers with longer duration becoming more popular in the industry, triggering people to stay constantly in one destination. I think that, if job seekers can get long-term
contracts
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 it will be more beneficial for their professional growth, family income and social status.
However
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, everyone needs to decide wisely in advance before signing any documents in order to avoid any unexpected circumstances.

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language
Try to avoid overcomplicating sentences. Simple, clear language can often convey ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Expanding on how employees might feel 'narrowed' in terms of future perspectives can provide a more comprehensive view. This could be achieved by detailing alternative career paths that could be missed.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea and that it is well-connected to the overall argument. Use linking words to ensure smooth transitions between points.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant specific examples, like the companies in Kazan and the statistics from Moscow, which strengthens the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the argument well.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with details, making the argument more convincing.
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