Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think this is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

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Art is considered a representation of a variety of cultures globally,
however
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, nowadays it is being appreciated by fewer numbers of individuals and greater interest is being shown in other fields of science, technology and business. I believe
this
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drastic change could be a result of employment opportunities in other fields and the well-paid structure of those professional careers.
Additionally
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, in order to mitigate
this
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issue, I think funding and efforts from the government could be needed and
this
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will arouse the attention of people towards
this
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profession.
Firstly
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, it is well-known that the highest-paid types of the profession are those in the speciality of medical science and engineering.
Therefore
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,
this
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has made citizens move towards attractive professions rather than art-related fields.
Moreover
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, there is greater job recreation for individuals like nurses, doctors, accountants and engineers than for singers or writers.
Thus
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, the issue of low salaries and fewer jobs become stronger reasons why the public is not fond of being found or called an artist.
For example
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, my uncle’s children have changed their career paths into medical and software engineers because these areas have become the hot-cake profession in Canada as compared to their previous years of experience as artists. Needless to say, they even found
this
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aspect to have great potential for them. There is no gainsaying that art cannot be fully revived and it could only be done if the administration of a country put effort or financial support into
this
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aspect. One of these could be in the restructuring of the higher institution syllabus and in
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manner, the student is well exposed to a diversity of the field. More so, funding could be allocated to those who desire to have startups but are constrained with finances,
hence
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,
this
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could create careers for youths.
For instance
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, the new council in Nigeria has allocated two million dollars to creating fashion schools and it is recorded
this
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has greatly boosted the economy in that area.
To conclude
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, the origin of craft is to feature the diversity of cultures,
nevertheless
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, low-paid jobs and scarcity of jobs have deviated society into other practices. If only the government could come in to support
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sector
then
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this
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could appreciate the interest of mankind.
Submitted by mh.nkanta on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks clear development of ideas and organization, leading to coherence and cohesion issues. The introduction and conclusion need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance. The use of specific examples is somewhat unclear and not well-supported.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but lacks a clear and comprehensive response. The ideas are not fully developed and the examples provided do not effectively support the writer's points. The focus on the topic needs to be clearer and more comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • STEM subjects
  • Job security
  • Financial success
  • Pragmatic
  • Utilitarian pursuits
  • Art education
  • Inclusive
  • Engaging
  • Contemporary society
  • Social issues
  • Environmental themes
  • Digital platforms
  • Virtual museums
  • Interactive art
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