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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development
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It is irrefutable that children love playing
games
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, be it indoors or outdoors. Many people believe that teenagers nowadays spend more
time
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 on their computers playing online rather than spending
time
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 on physical sports. I tend to agree with the topic, and that it has negative impacts on kids in the long term. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss more on the topic.
To begin
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 with, obesity is a big problem in most of the developed world, because kids spend more
time
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 in the house sitting and watching TV or playing on laptops.
This
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 leads to early-age obesity due to the lack of physical movement. To illustrate, the biggest problem with eating junk food is that may lead to fat build-up.
Hence
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, It is pretty important for kids to spend more
time
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 outdoors running or moving their muscles to ensure they are not just sitting and getting fat.
Additionally
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, looking at the computer screen for long hours can cause strain on the kid's eyes, which may result in sight issues and may require spectacles at an early age.
Furthermore
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, sitting in one place can impact communication with other humans as well. To exemplify, children nowadays do not talk
instead
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 they only chat,
this
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 is an impact of online
games
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 and social networks.
Therefore
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, the impacts of using computers to play
games
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 or chat with friends online will deteriorate health and communication skills as well. In a nutshell, despite the efforts put in by parents and the government to promote sports, children are still going back to playing video
games
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, In my opinion, parents should make sure that their kid is not sitting at home during leisure
time
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, and is outdoors for at least 1 hour during the day.
Submitted by pramey.j.j on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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