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Band 4

grandparents play an important role in the upbringing of their grandchildren, do you think it is useful for them to be involved, give your opinion?

#grandparents #role #upbringing #grandchildren
NOWADAYS, PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN A JOINT FAMILY. EVERYONE WANT TO LIVE WITH THEIR ,SEPARATE FAMILY. IN SOME OF THE WAYS, IT IS MORE EFFECTIVE IN OUR FUTURE SOCIETY. BECAUSE , OUR GRAND MEMBERS OF FAMILY GIVE TO OUR TRADITIONAL, VALUES, LIVING SENSES.
TO BEGIN
 WITH, GRANDPARENTS ARE PLAYING SOME MOST CHARACTERS FOR GROWING MINOR AGES.
CHILDREN
 HAVE TO
PASS
Verb problem
SPEND
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 SOME
TIME
 ON
REGULAR
Correct article usage
A REGULAR
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BASIC
Correct your spelling
BASIS
 WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS.
THUS
, THEY CAN GET SOME TRADITIONAL VALUES, KNOW ABOUT THE CULTURE AND FAMILY VALUES, GOOD SENSES AND WHAT IS THE GOOD OR BAD THINGS FOR
LIFE
.
MOREOVER
, OLD PEOPLE HAVE A
OFLOT
Fix the agreement mistake
LOT OF
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TIME
 AFTER THEIR RETIREMENT.IF THEY HAVE GRANDCHILDREN, THEY WILL
PASS
Verb problem
HAVE
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 A GOOD
TIME
 WITH THEIR
CHILDREN
.
HENCE
, THEY WILL NOT BECOME BORED IN THEIR OLDER AGE
LIFE
. ON THE CONTRAST SIDE, PARENTS HAVE BUSY SCHEDULES IN THEIR DAILY
LIFE
Fix the agreement mistake
LIVES
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. THEY DO NOT HAVE PROPER
TIME
 TO SPEND WITH THEIR
CHILDREN
. WITH REGARDS TO, CHILD HAVE NOT ANY PERSON TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. SO, THERE ARE MANY POSSIBILITIES FOR
MINORS
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MINORS'
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 AGES ,
CHILDREN
 MIGHT GO TO OR DO
TO
Change preposition
apply
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SOME WRONG ACTIVITIES. LIKE, CRIMES , THEFT, TAKING DRUGS, AND DOING SOME
UNNECCESRIES
Correct your spelling
UNNECESSARY
 OR HARMFUL THINGS.
AS A CONSEQUENCE
 , IT WILL BECOME MORE DANGEROUS FOR THE UPCOMING GENERATION OR FUTURE SOCIETY. IN CONCLUSION, GRANDPARENTS HAVE TO BE NECESSARY FOR A CHILD'S
LIFE
. BECAUSE
THIS
 OF, THEY WILL TEACH US HOW TO LIVE GOOD
LIFE
 FROM THEIR EXPERIENCE , WHAT WE WILL DO IS NICE FOR OUR FAMILY OR NOT IS RIGHT FOR US.
Submitted by banseepatel444 on

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task response
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion that address the topic directly. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion by using appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a main point and supports it with relevant details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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