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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is generally believed some people are born with certain talents, for instant for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #talents #instant #sport #music #child #sports #person #musician
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Development
Correct article usage
The development
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 of talents
have
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has
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 been a well-discussed topic recently in our society. Many people argue that
children
Use synonyms
 who are born with a don will be successful in the future, regardless
how
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of how
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 much time practice.
Nevertheless
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, others explain that these abilities can be learnt with training and discipline. In
this
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 essay, I am going to give both points of view, and at the
end
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,end
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 I will give my personal opinion. On one hand, few persons
born
Add a missing verb
are born
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 with
an
Correct article usage
apply
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incredible
talent
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.
For example
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:
There
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there
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 are a lot of musicians with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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perfect
ear
Fix the agreement mistake
ears
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what
Correct word choice
that
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 enabled
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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 music
on
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in
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different
Add an article
a different
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 than
another person
Fix the agreement mistake
other people
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.
In addition
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, these juveniles will have the skills to create new music or play the guitar much better than normal minors.
In other words
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, for them will be easier to develop these artistic capacities, and it is well-known that several current singers have
a
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had a
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natural
talent
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 since they were born.
On
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In
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 sports, we have the same scenario as many players have
special
Add an article
a special
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talent
Use synonyms
 in the mental field as well as in the physical field so these sportsmen and sportswomen will not need an apprenticeship.
On the other hand
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, there are some
children
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 that have been amazing without
a
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apply
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natural
talent
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. To illustrate, it has already been proven that kids may become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great artist with much discipline and responsibility, and in
the
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apply
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most cases
that
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apply
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children
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 with more practice overtake
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
don´t
Correct pronoun usage
who don´t
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training
Wrong verb form
train
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 because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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, training
outweigh
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outweighs
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 natural
talent
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. Namely, a very famous football player who is name is "Mario Balotelli" has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wonderful skill for playing in any professional team, but he was unable to have a compromised behaviour. What is more, nobody wants to play with him and the club had to rescind their contract. Taking everything into consideration,
although
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,
children
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 might be taught to become a great
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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 or sports person, the majority of professional artists have the gift of being different in their respective art or sport, and they always have a natural advantage over the persons without natural
dond
Correct your spelling
bond
done
. It is for these reasons, I believe that natural
talent
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 will almost always outperform persons without
talent
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by javiiercabrera on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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