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Band 4.5

In order to study at university, student are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone

#study #university #student #tuition #fees #students #people #education
Fees
 for higher
education
 are expensive and not affordable
by
Change preposition
for
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 everyone so according to some
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 should be free for all people regardless of their background. In my opinion, I agree that
university
education
 ought to be free as it will greatly benefit both individuals and society. A good reason to abolish
university
fees
 is that it gives people the right
of
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to
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education
 whether they are rich or poor. At present
students
 from poor
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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 are prevented from entering
university
 because they are unable to pay the
fees
.
This
exclude
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excludes
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 a large proportion of society and
Add a missing verb
is discriminatory
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discriminatory
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discrimination
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 which can be avoided by getting rid of tuition
fees
. Another point to consider
that
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is that
show examples
 having no
fees
 at
university
 will
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 force
students
 to work during their
education
 journey. To illustrate, a high proportion of Egyptian
students
 have a
part- time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 work either at the same time
of
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as
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university
 lectures, so they may miss these lectures, or after the end of their daily lectures. Free
education
fees
 should,
therefore
 ,
making
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make
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students
 focus more on their studies and
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
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 better results.
Finally
, free
university
education
 will benefit
the
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apply
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society
on
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in
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 both the long and
shorts
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short
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 terms. There will be more knowledgeable and skilled
students
at
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in
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 various fields as well as opening up higher
education
 to a wider section of the population.
In other words
, having
an
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apply
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educated people will result in advances in the economy of the country as well as
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 the country prosperous and leading in different industrial sectors. In conclusion, free
education
 is a must for any country that values equal rights and
one that
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apply
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wishes to progress. The cost of free
education
 will be recouped many times over by the benefits it will bring.
Submitted by heshamabasiry13 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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