IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Only way to solve increasing crime rate young offender to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree.

#crime #rate #offender #parents #skills
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It is believed that the decrease in the number of young criminals could only go along with enhancing
parents
Use synonyms
’
educating
Replace the word
education
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 methods. From my perspective,
this
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 belief is completely false. I will explain my viewpoint in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the advocates of said idea have their rational grounds.
First
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education from
parents
Use synonyms
 is an effective way for
children
Use synonyms
. To elaborate, they are individuals
who
Change the pronoun
whom
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 the young spend almost all day living with.
As a result
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,
children
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 could be inspired by their
parents
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' perspectives, which means the good actions of
parents
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 would be replicated by their
children
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.
Second
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,
children
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 usually listen to their
parents
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 more than others civilians. Specifically, it is
parents
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 who always try to satisfy their child’s demands, both physical and mental needs.
Then
Linking Words
, by listening to
parents
Use synonyms
’ education could
children
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 present their gratitude to them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that the above opinions fail to justify these reasons. At its simplest, society could
also
Linking Words
 guide the young to follow good behaviours. To be specific, there are a significant number of law lessons delivered by society, both online and offline.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government could increase the level of punishment to scare the young. In detail, it is possible for the legal bodies to reduce the minimum age of
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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 that be punished if they commit a crime. In fact, in Viet Nam, if a criminal is above 16 years old, he will be treated the same as the mature one. In conclusion, it is indisputable that
parents
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in guiding their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 to follow the legal.
However
Linking Words
, if society and the authorities could give a hand by sharing information and squeezing the law,
this
Linking Words
 problem would cease to exist.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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