IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Only way to solve increasing crime rate young offender to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree.

#crime #rate #offender #parents #skills
It is believed that the decrease in the number of young criminals could only go along with enhancing
parents
’
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
 methods. From my perspective,
this
 belief is completely false. I will explain my viewpoint in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the advocates of said idea have their rational grounds.
First
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education from
parents
 is an effective way for
children
. To elaborate, they are individuals
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 the young spend almost all day living with.
As a result
,
children
 could be inspired by their
parents
' perspectives, which means the good actions of
parents
 would be replicated by their
children
.
Second
,
children
 usually listen to their
parents
 more than others civilians. Specifically, it is
parents
 who always try to satisfy their child’s demands, both physical and mental needs.
Then
, by listening to
parents
’ education could
children
 present their gratitude to them.
On the other hand
, I believe that the above opinions fail to justify these reasons. At its simplest, society could
also
 guide the young to follow good behaviours. To be specific, there are a significant number of law lessons delivered by society, both online and offline.
In addition
, the government could increase the level of punishment to scare the young. In detail, it is possible for the legal bodies to reduce the minimum age of
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 that be punished if they commit a crime. In fact, in Viet Nam, if a criminal is above 16 years old, he will be treated the same as the mature one. In conclusion, it is indisputable that
parents
 play a vital role in guiding their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to follow the legal.
However
, if society and the authorities could give a hand by sharing information and squeezing the law,
this
 problem would cease to exist.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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