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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the individuals who make the most money are the most successful. Others believe that the most successful are those who contribute to society, such as scientists and teachers. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #perspectives
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Although
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 some people think that making wealth is the only form of accomplishment, other believe that giving back to the community and working for social causes is what makes an individual truly successful. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and present my opinion before my conclusion is reached. On
one
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 hand, the proponents of the former opine state that capital allows
one
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 to have the lifestyle of
one
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's dreams so that every comfort possible can be achieved.
Moreover
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, they claim that the true happiness of an individual can be measured if they possess good cars, better medical facilities, a comfortable abode and better opportunities to excel.
Furthermore
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, they suggest that not only does money bring physical comforts in
life
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, but
also
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 provides mental peace which is
also
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 very essential to be happy and prosperous.
On the other hand
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, the advocates of the latter argument suggest that wealth is not the only indicator of being victorious in
life
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.
In addition
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, they argue that the true purpose of
one
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's
life
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 should be to help others so that goodness may prevail in
society
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. Professions
such
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 as teachers, state clerks or librarians are often not very financially fulfilling, but the people working in
such
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 domains are usually very contended and satisfied. While they feel pride in their work, they
also
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 earn beautiful memories and form long-lasting relationships. In conclusion, even though wealth can allow us to have certain facilities in
life
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, it can not provide the sense of accomplishment which come with helping others. What distinguishes
society
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 from barbarism is our ability to motivate and uplift our peers the world a better place.
Hence
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, In my opinion, contributing towards
society
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 is a far bigger factory of success than having heaps of money. True success lies in spreading kindness and making efforts to build our
society
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.
Submitted by sh.fahadashraf on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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