IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think companies should employ old people to work as they have a lot of working experience. Others, however, think it is better to recruit young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #companies #work
Recently a debate has a raised about which type of employees would be better to employ by
companies
, experienced
workers
 or fresh graduates.
Although
 skilled
workers
 in general are often ready to start a job without training, they struggle to adapt to change. While young
workers
 even they are eager to start their careers, their lack of experience may result in accidents at work. A balanced working force will assure an excellent mixture of experience and enthusiasm. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
 are always competing with each other in order to increase their market share to generate more profit, they have to come up with new solutions. A mid to late career stage worker always struggle with change, As he is used to doing his job in the same way he has been using it for a long time.
This
 is why
companies
 send their employees to courses and seminars about 'Thinking outside the box' or 'coping with change'.
In contrast
, fresh graduates are eager to learn and try new things as they are young and excited to start a career.
Although
this
 can help
companies
 search for new ideas, their lack of skills can lead to mishaps
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work.
This
 can be avoided in the work area by sending these young adults to be trained by professionals. In conclusion, both fresh graduates and experienced
workers
 have their advantages and disadvantages, a good mix of both of them in the workforce would be the best solution.
Submitted by alageel.faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: