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Band 5

International tourism has been prevailing for many years. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#tourism #years
With the advances
of
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in
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 transportation technology, foreign travelling has been prevailing for many years. In my opinion, global
tourism
have
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has
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 more advantages than disadvantages, I will explain my point of view.
Firstly
, for some countries that
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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lack
of
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apply
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natural resources,
tourism
 can be a main source
for
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth.
Tourism
 can make income for the local people and become
main
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the main
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 source of earnings for the country.
Moreover
, international
tourist
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tourists
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 usually
bring
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brings
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 a lot of money to spend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist
 spot. It can lead to economic development and reduce the number of unemployed people. Touristry can lead to career recruitment and it can provide jobs for the local population.
Secondly
, the place
that is
 popular for
tourism
 or
so-called
Correct article usage
a so-called
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tourist
 spot can be renovated and developed in order to improve that location
for
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to
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 being a famous
tourist
 attraction to gain more profit for the local community.
For example
, Bali is the most
well known
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well-known
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 Island for travelling in Indonesia, and the
tourism
 facility in there is already mature.
Furthermore
, international
tourism
 can be a medium for the nation to introduce
themself
Correct pronoun usage
itself
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.
Such
 as
Maldives
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the Maldives
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, a small country in Asia, but really known as a beautiful destination for
honeymoon
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a honeymoon
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. To sum up, there are so many benefits of international touristry that become an important source of income in many countries. I think the advantages of
this
 issue are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 and think that we should encourage both government and the public to continue developing the
tourist
 industry.
Submitted by rifqiadityariadhi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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