IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress.to what extend do you agree or disagree.

#function #music #people #stress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has long been a public debate about the fact that
music
Use synonyms
 has an integral role in
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and it makes
contribution
Add an article
a contribution
show examples
 to decreasing
stress
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 I am a huge fan of
this
Linking Words
 theory and the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 my opinion about
this
Linking Words
 topic will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. In these contemporary
circumstances
Add a comma
,circumstances
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge
stress
Use synonyms
 because of some problems
such
Linking Words
 as recession or family issues in their
life
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 social members need to do some preventable treatment to reduce their
stress
Use synonyms
 and obviously not only does
music
Use synonyms
 play a profound impact on curbing
stress
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 it can enhance
people
Use synonyms
's enthusiasm.
for example
Linking Words
, numerous studies from Oxford University have found that
people
Use synonyms
 who listen to songs for half an hour will increase their passion and decrease
their
Change the word
the
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
 or even
pressures
Correct article usage
the pressures
show examples
 that they are experiencing in their
life
Use synonyms
. It seems to me that
music
Use synonyms
 performs a key role in curing diseases like depression or mental demolition
thus
Linking Words
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
show examples
 to songs or singing can help social members who are fighting
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental diseases and there is no denying the fact that
music
Use synonyms
 is able to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to pursue their
life
Use synonyms
 with passion. For instant
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
show examples
 to
music
Use synonyms
 exert a positive and astonishing effect on students' minds before exams and it helps students to mitigate their
nervous
Replace the word
nervousness
show examples
. To sum up, in
this
Linking Words
 modern and sophisticated world
music
Use synonyms
 performs a key role in
people
Use synonyms
's minds so it can make a contribution to reducing their anxiety and it is crystal clear that
music
Use synonyms
 boosts
enthusiasm
Correct article usage
the enthusiasm
show examples
 and passion of students and social members
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: