Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
supermarkets
owned by global organizations have started to open branches in remote locations,like, villages, and mountain areas where local
markets
have lost
thier
Correct your spelling
their
consumer base to
this
mart.Local businesses and society have an invaluable connection to each other with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
traditions,culture and lifestyle.
My opinion
Correct pronoun usage
Opinion
show examples
, I agree that local
communities
are
also
under threat. because these big malls
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
attracting consumers from these
markets
not only is
this
affecting local work but
also
local
communities
.
firstly
,mall offer more diverse products than traditional shops,
moreover
because these
supermarkets
are backed by huge global companies they are able to offer discounts that these local
markets
can't,from which customers are increasingly preferring
supermarkets
instead
of ones local.
additionally
Add a comma
,additionally
show examples
traditional business
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
affected by
supermarkets
because of the lack of advertising local business depends on consumer returning
Correct your spelling
their
thier
profits and cannot raise capital for investment ,unlike
supermarkets
who due to big advertising are attracting not only buyers from local shops but
also
new consumers.
for example
supermarkets
can afford to hire big celebrities for commercial
thus
attracting more consumers,which local shops can't.
However
, the opening
Change preposition
of
show examples
supermarkets
can benefit local manufacturers by sourcing
thier
Correct your spelling
their
produce and selling on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
premises,in other ,words shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
can sign a contract with local farmers in order to provide
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
customer with fresh goods, and locally -sourced products,
this
way
supermarkets
can help
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
thrive.
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
new branches in new places help create jobs for locals,
therefore
helping out individuals in need of jobs,but many corporations have profit as
thier
Correct your spelling
their
goal
instead
of helping out local
communities
. To conclude
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that the disappearance of local
markets
has mainly been because uncontrolled development of new shopping centres.
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
we should put pressure on the government to introduce policies to help maintain the essence of local
communities
and
markets
Submitted by todear7krishna on

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