Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

#parents #computer #games #value #children #study #effects #development

Nowadays, technology is affecting many areas of our lives and the picture of

children

's daily life has changed. A Number of

youngers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

enjoy

games

, especially computer-based

games

and video

games

. Most of them play

this

entertainment almost every day. But their parents complain that computer

games

have no advantages for their kids. It is because they believe that computer

games

have no advantage to their

children

's education. I believe that online

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

produce

Correct subject-verb agreement

produces

show examples

a lot of harmful effects on mental and physical development and it is recognised

Change preposition

show examples

everybody as a myth. In my opinion, it is important for boys and girls to reduce playing

games

. Most of them do not finish their homework and play

games

This

situation will affect their educational development and

finally

, it may

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

harm to developing mental and physical health. The parent's role is most important to solve

this

problem.

First,

they should remind them that playing it will harm their

children

. Most moms and dads give their phones and

Fix the agreement mistake

PCs

show examples

to boys and girls when they are busy. youngers have no patience to control playing

games

and it will make them be an addict. To make a better situation, moms and dads can play for kids directly so that they

could

Verb problem

show examples

not think

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

are not

Verb problem

show examples

the best option.

Second,

kids can remind themselves that they should play it after finishing their duties. It will allow them to be an alternative person and give achievable experiences.

As a result

, it is important for both parents and boys and girls to

remind

Verb problem

remember

show examples

that online

games

do not have big advantages for anything. Parents should take care of younger and

children

should increase their patience. Reminding it,

children

will be able to take both their mental and physical health.

Submitted by soominkim0618 on Sun Dec 25 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweight the potential risk and environment concern

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?