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Band 3

Some people say smacking children is the best way to discipline them. To what extent you agree with this?

#people #children #discipline
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In some societies,
parents
Use synonyms
 and elders believe that punishing the younger in the household is the best
way
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 to teach manners and attitude for them. In my opinion, smacking
children
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 might be useful in some situations, but it is not helpful in many cases. Punishing
children
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 in a strict
way
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 can cause harm for their mental and physical development. Asian society, mostly in Korean society believed that punishing the younger strictly is the best
way
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 to teach attitude for them. Especially in the school, teachers had smacked and punched students
with
Change preposition
in
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 terrible ways. They smacked with sticks, baseball bats and books. Most of the students
was
Change the verb form
were
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 sick in
this
Linking Words
 climate. Thanks to the
enhance
Replace the word
enhancement
show examples
 of
children
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's rights and established acts, twelve years ago in Korea, smacking
children
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 in the household and school has been prohibited. In my opinion, smacking
children
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 should be prohibited and despite punishing
younger
Correct pronoun usage
onesyounger
show examples
, moms and dads are likely to educate their kids in supple ways. Most of the
parents
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 have realised and were educated with the TV program, "Our
children
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 have changed!".
This
Linking Words
 program shows
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 problem of educating younger in a strict
way
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 and gives the best
way
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 to teach manners and attitudes to
parents
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. In addition to educating
children
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 in a polite
way
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,
parents
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 should remind themselves that the
children
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 will be scared when their
parents
Use synonyms
 smack them.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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