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Band 4.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s life others think adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #years #time #people’s #life #adult #happiness #spite #responsibilities
No doubts teenager has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
responsibilities
 than grownups.
Thus
, people tend to think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it was a golden stage
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
, with a lot of fun and way
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 burdens on their shoulders. in
this
text
Add a comma
,text
show examples
 we are going to discuss
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
show examples
 and
adults
Change noun form
adults'
adult's
show examples
 views of
happiness
 and
responsibilities
. Many
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
 illustrated a correlation between
happiness
 and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
responsibilities
 that a person
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experiences
show examples
.
accordingly
, many people think that they were
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 as
teenagers
 and
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that it was the best stage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
life
. 
for example
,
teenagers
 are able to get out alone as
adults
 to some extent with almost no
responsibilities
. 
In addition
, they have plenty
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 to enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 friends and mates and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 duties to think about.
in other words
, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
 think about and want is to have fun that makes them feel happy easily.
On the other hand
,
adults
 generally struggle in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 with
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
 and duties.
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 they spent
Correct article usage
a considrable
show examples
considrable
Correct your spelling
considerable
 amount of time looking for jobs, building their
carear
Correct your spelling
career
careers
 and supporting their families.
However
,
adults
generaly
Correct your spelling
generally
 do understand the world and the purpose of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 in
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 better way,
in addition
, they realise that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 is not about hanging out with friends.
instead
,
happiness
 can be created by
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and the way think about what
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them really happy. In my experience, 
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I was
statisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
how
Change preposition
with how
show examples
 I spent my teenage years. I think I am happier as an adult. In my opinion,
happiness
 is something that everybody can create, develop and nurture. it is a state of mind.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, having a purpose and having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
realistic expectations in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a
corner stone
Correct your spelling
cornerstone
show examples
 to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a happy
life
. - Background growth
Correct your spelling
teenagers
teanagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 - rephrase - my opinion
Submitted by w on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pinnacle
  • spontaneity
  • profound
  • exploration
  • thrill
  • vivid
  • challenges
  • personal growth
  • career satisfaction
  • nuances
  • overcoming obstacles
  • perspectives
  • circumstances
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