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Writing Samples
Band 6

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, others think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both ways and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #skills
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The matter of education has always been a hot topic in our society. Both sides bring up a lot of good points to discuss and consider. One side gives high praise to
knowledge
 which could lead to a higher level of education,
while
 the other side believes that there are
skills
 that can be pursued outside the realm of universities. Seeking a higher level of education has always been a way to increase your chances of finding work. The more you know, The better your chances will be when you are facing a new issue. A lot of high-level jobs do ask their employees to study and try to learn more throughout their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Departments like research and development always require you to be on the edge of technology and as
such
, you have to know a lot of things that would be discussed in universities. Gaining
knowledge
 of soft
skills
 isn't a bad option either. Many high-level works require you to have some sort of these soft
skills
. These
skills
 are far beyond confined to books and universities. Talents with
such
skills
 are valuable resources fit to work at any high-level company. Both paths are desired by many. I lean more toward the side of soft
skills
. My reasoning for
this
 decision lies behind what I value:
Skills
 are more valuable than
knowledge
. It is one thing to know something and a completely different matter to be able to wield that
knowledge
 and use it to reach the best possible outcome.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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Introduction
Ensure the introduction distinctly presents the topic and outlines the main points that you will discuss. It currently lacks a clear thesis statement.
Conclusion
Work on a clear conclusion that succinctly summarises your discussion and states your final opinion. At present, the conclusion is missing.
Cohesion
Improve the logical flow by connecting your ideas and paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences.
Idea Development and Support
Each main body paragraph should aim to expand individual points, clearly separated, with specific examples or data to support the arguments.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task. Both views and your own opinion should be discussed fully and equally. The opinion provided seems abrupt and could be better integrated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured and comprehensive understanding
  • specialized skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving abilities
  • career advancement
  • networking opportunities
  • internships
  • alumni associations
  • career services
  • practical experience
  • hands-on skills
  • trades, arts, and technology
  • soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • real-world working environment
  • job performance
  • career growth
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