Children of different ages and countries play computer games these days. Parents think these computer games have little educational value and have harmful effects on children. What is your opinion?

#children #ages #countries #computer #games #parents #value #effects

Due to the rapid development of technology, computer

games

are used not only to relieve stress but

also

to assist

students

study. Some proponents advocate that we have to embrace these trends, whereas some opponents hold negative views on online

games

. The aim of

this

essay is to explore these conflicting opinions and elucidate why I support the latter.

First

of all, online-based

games

have a lot of multiple functions to help

students

learn.

Thus

students

could easily immerse themselves to acquire knowledge, even though they study very difficult concepts.

For example

Students

enjoy comprehension quizzes after they finish a certain chapter,

besides

students

have difficulties understanding they can use repeated menus which help them remind of what they learned.

Therefore

, classes could be enjoyable for

students

and eventually encourages them to have more motivation.

On the other hand

students

could be easily addicted to

games

. No matter how

games

and learning are combined, children easily focus on fun activities excessively and they forgot what they learned.

Furthermore

, if they spent too much time gaming, they do not want to go out which leads to the deterioration of their nutritional status. Many studies show that

students

who enjoy fewer

games

sustain better mental conditions than children who are addicted to

games

a lot. To sum up, I agree that there would be a lot of advantageous points that we could get from online

games

for learning, but I think we have to consider carefully the side effects.

Submitted by seonkorea on Mon Dec 26 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children of different ages and countries play computer games these days. Parents think these computer games have little educational value and have harmful effects on children. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media affected personal relationships ad society as a whole. Do the advantage of using socail media for communicatin outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?