Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?

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Nowadays, many
people
create their own businesses as they want to have their own stores.
However
, there are some risks to starting a
business
if they are not fully trained. The aim of
this
essay is to explore the reason why
people
prefer self-employed and elucidate potential disadvantages.
To begin
with, the main benefit of running our own
business
is to have freedom. If we are hired by a company, we have to follow the goal of the corporation.
Thus
,
people
do not have the motivation to work more than the company requires.
However
, if we are self-hired, we could get paid
according to
the amount of our work.
For example
, if we are running a
business
, and we know that even during holidays we could make good money, we might not take a rest.
Besides
, we could be more creative and productive, as we know that new ideas could be applied to the field.
On the other hand
,
people
hesitate to work alone, as it is not easy for them to overcome crises. When we run a
business
, we sometimes
are facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
unpredicted difficulties
such
as financial crises or changes in trends.
Besides
, these days big companies
also
enter the market with the invincible power of information and capital power.
For example
, compared with 10 years ago, many stores around me have changed as they could not survive in the harsh competitive capitalistic realism.
To sum up
, I do agree with the idea that self-employment has a lot of benefits.
However
, we have to keep in mind that the failure of
business
results in economic bankruptcy. We have to look at both sides very carefully and decide.
Submitted by seonkorea on

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Task Response
The introduction provides an overview of the reasons for self-employment and outlines the potential disadvantages. The body paragraphs discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of self-employment. The conclusion provides a brief summary. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer and more focused introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable progression of ideas and uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there is room for improvement in the organization and connection between ideas within and between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • autonomy
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • financial instability
  • self-motivation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • healthcare
  • retirement plans
  • administrative tasks
  • compliance
  • isolation
  • camaraderie
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