Some people believe that upbringing of child is responsibility of a mother. Others say this responsibility lies with father. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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commuting between places is an essential need for everybody.

while

Linking Words

some individuals believe that funds should be allocated to build

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

rail system others seem to disagree with them and they think that the government`s budget must target the public transportation system.

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides and it will state the writer's opinion in the end. Getting around between cities requires a reasonable way of transportation, in terms of cost, and a fast method in order to reach your destination quickly.

although

Linking Words

cars are great

to reach

Change preposition

for reaching

show examples

your place, trains are better regarding time and

money

Use synonyms

to get around.

moreover

Linking Words

, by building new rails, the public will spend less

money

Use synonyms

buying tickets in comparison with overpriced fuel. a recent study undertaken at Leeds

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

estimated that 90% of farmers prefer using fast trains rather than cars.

nevertheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is only one side of the argument.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, some people consider developing the current public transport.

Hence

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

should be spent in

this

Linking Words

field. in economic prospects, opening new rail roads it will make the taxpayers pay extra

money

Use synonyms

Linking Words

therefore

Capitalize word

Therefore

show examples

, doing maintenance of the public buses will reduce the

money

Use synonyms

from taxes. a newspaper has published a new report regarding the railroad building, it estimated that constructing one railroad, 10 Km, equals the price of 200 new buses. Government should pay attention to the economic and social results of any new project.

To sum up

Linking Words

, even though it is important to use funds to join villages by train, it is

also

Linking Words

a wise decision to develop the old public system.

this

Linking Words

essay believes that

money

Use synonyms

should

spend

Wrong verb form

be spent

show examples

equally between both of them.

lafialazmiMon Dec 26 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Work on providing clearer topic sentences for your paragraphs to guide the reader through your main points.

task achievement

Make sure to fully expand on your ideas with more examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure, particularly in longer sentences, to enhance clarity.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable for task achievement.

task achievement

The use of examples, such as the study at Leeds University, helps support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Some people believe that upbringing of child is responsibility of a mother. Others say this responsibility lies with father. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?