IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Nowadays there is a load uproar over social
media
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. Some
people
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 think these platforms
such
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 as Facebook and Twitter can be a negative
impact
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 on youth ,while others believe these are good sites that lead to bringing
people
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 together.
This
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 essay will discuss both negative and positive
aspects
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 of social
media
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 and will explain the
increasing
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increase
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 in mental illnesses as one of the drawbacks, and the
growing
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growth
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 of the information cycle as a positive aspect. On the one hand, there is no doubt that
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of social
media
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impact
Change the verb form
impacts
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 every moment of the day-to-day life of users. In recent years, there are innumerous examples all over the world that illustrate much
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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 cope with
a mental disorders
Correct the article-noun agreement
mental disorders
a mental disorder
show examples
,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 they think by themselves" We just watch and like a photo". In the
last
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 investigation in my nation that known
by
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as
show examples
 "Social
Media
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 and Details", there is a lot of
Informations
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Information
pieces of information
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 that demonstrate about 65% of youths have
a
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the
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 same mental disorder as the
impact
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 of social
media
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. It is interesting to note that the majority of them cannot be able to make a relationship. So as mentioned above, one of the negative
aspects
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 of social
media
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 could be
threatened
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threatening
show examples
 societies with
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
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of
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apply
show examples
mental illnesses. While
surging
Correct article usage
the surging
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 of
using
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use
show examples
 of social
media
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 has some negative
aspects
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, there are positive sides that help
people
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 to come together more than past.
There
Change the word
It
show examples
 is impossible to
imagination
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imagine
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 of
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 relationships without using social
media
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. All happening could be posted on private and public pages as soon as
taken
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takes
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 place.
People
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 not only can share their own experiences and lifestyle easily, but
also
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 they can create groups and channels to pursue a distinct goal. In that survey in my country, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some evidence
show
Wrong verb form
showing
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 the most imperative thing in
daily
Add an article
the daily
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 life of
the
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apply
show examples
most
people
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 is connection and relationship, and social
media
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 are
succeed
Replace the word
successfully
show examples
bringing
Change preposition
in bringing
show examples
 these
successfully
Replace the word
success
show examples
. The cycling of information can
Add a missing verb
be easible
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easible
Correct your spelling
feasible
easily
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
accessible by using those platforms. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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 sites can
impact
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on
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apply
show examples
youths, and these are both negative and positive
aspects
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. despite having a negative
impact
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such
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 as mental
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
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, social
media
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 can improve and ease
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 beneficially.
Submitted by behnam.n00001 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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