IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that and paid community service should be a compulsory part of a high school programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Volunteering is widely regarded as a valuable way to contribute to society
while
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 gaining personal experience and growth. Some people argue that volunteering should be made compulsory for high school
students
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, believing it helps to improve their essential skills.
While
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 some may believe that forcing
students
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 to volunteer makes their schedule busier leading to some negative mental and physical consequences. One primary concern is that volunteering can make
students
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' schedules even busier. High school
students
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 already have a heavy workload and curriculum. Adding mandatory volunteer hours might make them exhausted.
For example
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, a student preparing for exams or a student participating in sports might struggle to find time for volunteering. The pressure to fulfil volunteer requirements could lead to stress, impacting their mental health and academic performance.
Thus
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 , establishing
this
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 type of programme might prove difficult.
On the other hand
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, despite the scheduling challenges, volunteering offers significant benefits, particularly in helping
students
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 develop essential life skills. It provides experiences that
students
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 cannot learn in the classroom. Through volunteering,
students
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 can enhance their communication, teamwork, and leadership abilities.
For instance
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, when
students
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 work together on a community project, they learn how to collaborate effectively, manage time, and solve problems. These skills will help
students
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 in their future life.
Therefore
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 even though both groups would need to adapt, everyone taking part is more likely to gain from the experience. In conclusion, I disagree with
this
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 proposal.
Although
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 it has valuable benefits, community service's damage can surpass its benefits as
students
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 at high school have heavy schedules
as a consequence
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 it
cal
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can
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 lead to physical and mental problems.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main argument in the introduction and conclusion to enhance your task response. This will make your stance more explicit and focused.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to illustrate your points. This could strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the cohesion of your essay. This will help link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Expand on the counterarguments slightly to provide a more balanced view, which can enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported with appropriate explanations and reasoning.
task achievement
The negative impacts of mandatory volunteering on students' schedules are well explained.
task achievement
The essay showcases a good range of vocabulary and appropriate use of grammar.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
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